Oof. Resolutions.

This time of year, our imaginations can run a little wild with ideas for new wellness approaches. At certain times and in certain environments, we can talk ourselves into nearly anything but, as you know, it usually doesn’t stick. As it turns out, no matter how much environmentally sustainable protein they have, nobody in this house is committed to habitually eating mealworms - though my husband did say that these aren’t half bad. It might be contextual; he had to eat a palmful of foraged mealworms in military survival training, and no effort was made to improve their taste. Apparently, proper seasoning is a must.

Can a well-thought-out resolution work though? It turns out that there’s a cognitive bias that can actually aid in your success and Katy Milkman describes it here in an older episode of Choiceology. Also, James Clear, Author of Atomic Habits, asserts that it’s important to focus on who you’re being and not just what you’re doing in this episode of ‘Good Life Project’. A far more thorough take on habits with Clear can be found in his interview with Peter Attia where he outlines the four steps he uses to build successful habits. For instance, by focusing on being a runner versus running a marathon, you are more likely to align your habits consistent with someone who will one day run a marathon. As Hermione Granger would no doubt argue, it’s all in the way that you say it. It boils down to setting and forgetting outcome goals while focusing on the day-to-day steps that get you there (process goals).

Environment

A double whopper. Wait! Wait! Before I get to that, we may need a little backstory:

I don't eat fast food, but before anyone assumes that's hubris talking, the reason is environmental, not a heroic force of will. I grew up in a small New England town where the nearest McDonald's was 45 minutes away. Even in high school, my mother wouldn't let me drive to McDonald's because the town had a stoplight - seriously, I'm not kidding. Rather than fuse all my memories with a side of nuggets, my friends and I got breakfast served around the clock at P&H Truckstop. Now, when other people crave salty fries and a Coke in those wistful moments, I want scrambled eggs, bacon, hashbrowns, and thick slices of hot, buttered toast. See, the nuggets suddenly sound a lot more reasonable.

Lately, the urge to eat a Double Whopper has been oddly persistent (Yes, I know that's Burger King) though it only happens randomly and without urgency. It's been like a faint waft of Drakkar Noir that I can't identify immediately, but that stabs me with a sharp pang of awkwardness because it reminds me of every boy in high school. It all happens in a split second and then disappears. And the only time I can remember eating - yes, a DOUBLE whopper - was when I was pregnant and oh so desperate to stop feeling hungry for five minutes that I threw 1,061 calories at the problem.

To be clear, the fact that I vaguely crave one now doesn't mean I actually want one (or that I'm pregnant). It's probably something hormonal that my brain locked down tightly with 'A Whopper will fix it,' and so here we are. It's a reminder of how powerful our brain is and how much our past experiences try to offer us solutions, even when those solutions are entirely misguided. Still, I have the opportunity, means, and motive(ation) to commit the crime - why don't I? I'd like to say, 'Because I know It'd feel yucky,' which is true, but it's probably because the only Burger King I know is in the mall and I'm only in the mall when I'm going to the gym. In a way, this means that 'Environment' wins again.

I was thinking about these influences when I watched 'Live to 100: Secret of the Blue Zones' last night. The lifestyle that takes you to 100 doesn't take extraordinary effort but, instead, setting intentional priorities to build into your environment. And I live in one of those steep, walking cities like Sardinia. I make it a habit to walk wherever I go and haven't had a car in seven years. Each day, I walk my son from the bus to his school, the school to the mall, where I go to the gym, and then from the mall to home. In October, I walked 124 miles (47 hours and 24 minutes), according to Google Maps Timeline. It isn't because of willpower but because of how my life is set up. Everything about my day nudges me in healthy directions. I didn't just pick a goal; I built solid guardrails which save me frequently.

To build in nudges or create guardrails, consider this episode from Katie Milkman of Choiceology. Or ponder this episode that discusses how the emotional climate can affect you.

Fail to win

In Olympic Style Lifting, your job is to throw a significant load into a one-inch wide space over your head. It's like parking a Mac truck in a tight spot while driving 80 mph. Aim, hit the brakes and don't interrupt the process by thinking too hard. As you can imagine, I constantly dropped bars forward and backward when I was training for the 2009 Karnataka State Weightlifting competition in India. In fact, weightlifting training is just failing repeatedly until you don't. As I seldom throw anything heavier than me anymore, aim with that kind of precision, or wear weird tightfitting, spandex coveralls, the skills of weightlifting - other than failing well - are a thing of the past.

Now, my heaviest task is to carry two bags of groceries up four flights of stairs while the cloth bag handles promise to cut through the flesh of my shoulders. It can be just as impressive and failure isn't an option. It got me thinking about my clients and the different way we see failure week in and week out. It can look something like this:

Week 1 - Buy vegetables and then compost them in the vegetable drawer through pure neglect

What the client sees: Failure

What I see: Great 'Step 1'. Maybe a more robust veggie plan?

Week 2 - Buy vegetables and make horrendous food

What the client sees: Failure

What I see: Progress! Maybe better recipes?

Week 3 - Buy vegetables and make tasty food, but eat out anyway

What the client sees: Failure

What I see: Ooo, here we go! Time management, meal plan, or storage containers for work?

Week 4 - Buy vegetables, make tasty food, and eat at home once

What the client sees: Failure

What I see: Woot! Now we're talking! A solid step forward!

In this episode of 'The Next Big Idea', Harvard Business School professor Amy Edmondson discussed the value of failure and how crucial it is to our success. This was first made plain by Carol Dweck in her distinction of the growth versus fixed mindset (hint: we need to feel comfortable failing in order to grow). As I mentioned to my clients this week, the picture above is my impending food prep for Chicken Soup and Chicken Cacciatore but there are elements of failure baked right in. Note the inevitable jelly beans and the potential for a Gin and Tonic next weekend. I’m not staring at those failures as much as I’m focusing on squeezing in that many veggies!

Some

Years ago, while training at Microsoft's corporate gym, I worked with a programmer who wrote code for Windows. He commented that his computer only worked a couple of weeks before each update shipped. Yes, each problem was incrementally fixed, but there were always things that only worked once the operating system was ready to go. To me, it was funny imagining a programmer spending every day working on a computer that didn't function. The product was undoubtedly the outcome, but the PROCESS of creating that product was his job.

I sometimes think about that when I expect fast results after a straightforward tweak or when I overwhelm myself with everything to focus on. Those moments usually reveal that I've been on a slow slide back to all-or-nothing thinking. I've stopped seeing the process and started thinking about that far-off result again. Alas, I stopped seeing ‘some.’ After all, I set a goal for a reason, so why can't I keep staring longingly at it?

The answer is that fixating on the end goal seldom works to move you forward, and I often need to remind myself of that. This episode of 'Choiceology' hosted by Katie Milkman, author of 'How to Change', is a great reminder of how incremental change works. The first part of the episode may not feel relatable when she talks to Olympic Gold Medalist and Hall of Famer Shannon Miller, but hang in there.

As a bonus, I'm adding the most recent episode about friction (this is where Behavioral Economist Dan Ariely adds to the discussion) because it's a helpful reminder of how to remove it and how to use it to your advantage when changing behaviors. I included a picture of the exercise equipment above with that in mind. These machines are in parks all over Europe, so everyone can access convenient exercise equipment. I even used a park elliptical until I decided to buy my own.

Tempting

As soon as the temperature drops even a little, my brain switches from salads to soups. I blame that on my dad, though - full disclosure - one could never tell what lurks in the murky depths of his broth because he views soup as the perfect way to upcycle leftovers. Given his, uh, 'creativity' - I've advised my son to skip milk-based concoctions to be safe. But this isn't a lengthy recipe ramble - it’s a chance to discuss cravings and what we can do about them. In an episode of 'Good Life Project', Amy Shah, MD discusses what triggers a craving and how to manage dopamine to keep us out of temptation's grip.